Clean Free Jokes

Please can I have some jokes about getting old on my birthday?

It's my birthday today - a big one, but I won't tell you how big! Would love to hear some jokes about getting old, if you have any.

Public Comments

1. Hi, This is one I've used' 'I don't have birthdays anymore, I just go for carbon dating' Made my hubby and friends laugh
2. I started out with nothing ... I still have most of it. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran? I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it? It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through. It was all so different before everything changed. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few ... It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.
3. Age is what makes furniture worth more and people worth less Forty is the age when you begin to realise how much fun you had when you were twenty. By the time you find greener pastures, you are usually too old to climb the fence The time-tested method of slowing down advancing age seems to be misrepresentation Age is the best possible fire extinguisher for flaming youth Sixty-five is the age when you have acquired sufficient experience to lose your job You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come into contact with a new idea The awkward age is when you are too old for the Peace Corps and too young for Social Security Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need baby sitters and too young to borrow the family car Some people grow up and spread cheer; others just grow up and spread Everybody wants to live a long time, but nobody wants to get old It's a sign of age when you feel like the morning after the night before - and you haven't been anywhere! Have a great "special" birthday - it was my big 7 0 this year!
4. When you reach the age of 40 and you think you are getting old,Don't worry,because if you were a horse they would have shot you 20 year's ago.lol.Have a good birthday...