Clean Free Jokes

What are some funny unique jokes I can tell at school tommorow?

Please I only go for short, actually funny jokes. I don't want any lame jokes I mean seriously unique funny jokes I would appreciate if you could share at least 1 of them with me thanks!

Public Comments

1. you cant go wrong with chuck norris jokes. google "chuck norris facts" lame jokes are the best if your telling it to be lame. and your being lame, to be funny. so its all good. whats the difference between a zebra, and a dosen matter? they say "whats a dosen matter?" and you say "oh dont worry, doesnt matter." lame as aids, but i love it. lol. should bust out the old man jokes, like driving past the cemetary "thats the dead center of town" all that. cant go wrong with being lame. "yeh i thought i heard him say that" "you know what thought did, he thought he farted but he shat himself" just things like that.
2. hi my names cliff drop over sometime.
3. I love this one!!!: What to you call a cow that had an abortion? Decaffeinated! hahahahahaha...sorry, its a little lame.
4. If you're gay this is nothing against you! Really! A bear and a rabbit are walking in the forest when they come across an antique oil lamp. They rub it and *poof!* out pops a genie. He says, "you each have three wishes so use them wisely." Bear, wish 1: I wish I was the only male bear in the forest [so that all of the female bears will like him] Rabbit, wish 1: I wish I had a snazzy motorcycle helmet Bear, wish 2: I wish I was the only male bear in the country Rabbit, wish 2: I wish I had a motorcycle that matches my helmet Bear, wish 3: Hmmm, ooh i know! I wish I was the only male bear in the...WORLD! Rabbit, wish 3: And I wish that the bear was gay! HAHAHA really, gay people, no offense!
5. What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze What happens when you cross a duck with fireworks? A firequacker
6. try http://funney2day.blogspot.com/ this blog has the best jokes every. Especially the one about the cop and the traffic ticket. You have to check it out.
7. You: knock knock Them: whos theres? You: interrupting cow Them: interrupting cow * * who? You:* * = mooooooooooooooooooooo
8. A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen! “I’m sorry Mr. Sam,” said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity.” And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase. “Oh, my God!” she screamed, “Sam is dead!”